Sry I called you an 8
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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