i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
