Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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