thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
