I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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