how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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