Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
