I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
