last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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