Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
