yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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