Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
