I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
