When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
