Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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