THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
