I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
