I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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