Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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