guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
