just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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