he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
