i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
