At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Enjoy the penises
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
