I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
