Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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