Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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