I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I cut my penus on the lid.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
