The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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