Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
