You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
