New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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