He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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