I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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