Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
