You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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