maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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