know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize