Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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