is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
