Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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