Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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