If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
