So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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