He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
