And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
