Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Nicole vs. Life
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
