My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
