i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
