you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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