she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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