i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
